


Motorboating Safety

by UnseenLibrarian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Common Room Party, Dancing, F/M, Large Breasts, Lipstick & Lip Gloss, Mild Language, Mischief, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Self Confidence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 10:05:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5244296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnseenLibrarian/pseuds/UnseenLibrarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even with magical pranks and mischief, Lavender loves a good Quidditch Cup victory party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Motorboating Safety

**Author's Note:**

  * For [luvscharlie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvscharlie/gifts).



Gryffindor's Quidditch Cup victory party was roaring and had been for ages. Empty bottles of Butterbeer (and a few other alcoholic beverages) littered every surface. Music from the Weird Sisters latest album was pounding from the Wizarding Wireless Network speakers. Everyone was dancing and singing, jumping up and down to the beat.   
  
Lavender loved to dance, and now she hopped and wiggled and boogied and shook her groove thang like there was no tomorrow. She'd dolled herself up in her clubbing clothes and makeup. The magical tramp stamp on her lower back was writhing to the music and her tiny T-shirt flashed her cleavage at anyone who cared to see. She knew people were looking, and she knew she was looking  _fine._  
  
"You're gonna get a couple of black eyes if you keep jumping around like that, Lavender," called an anonymous male voice. There were shouts of laughter.   
  
She just grinned, stuck out her tongue, and jiggled her breasts at the crowd. "Not gonna happen," she yelled. "These gals are well-protected!"  
  
_"Nox totalis!"_  someone shouted. The common room plunged into night. There were screams and catcalls. Drunken Gryffindors began to grope each other with abandon in the sudden cloak of anonymity, and giggling filled the room.  
  
Lavender laughed until she felt two large male hands grab her. Someone shoved his face into her cleavage and began loudly motorboating her breasts.   
  
"Hey, get off me!" she shouted, shoving at the offending git. "Stop it!" She couldn't budge him, but after just a few seconds, the unknown male pushed her away and disappeared into the darkness.   
  
_"Lumos maxima!"_  Hermione Granger called and the room lit up once more, blinding everyone. Good-natured grumbles and complaints ensued.  
  
Parvati clutched Lavender's arm. "Are you all right, Lav-Lav? I heard you scream!"  
  
Lavender straightened her clothes, scowling. "Oh, yeah, Parv, I'm okay," she said. She pulled out her wand. "But some prat motorboated my boobs and he's going to be in some serious hurt any moment now." She looked around and then pointed her wand at Cormac McLaggen. "It was you, you arsehole!" She cast a Stinging Hex at him.  
  
Cormac barely dodged the spell. "Me?! I didn't—"  
  
"Yes, you did! You motorboated me. It's written all over your face."  
  
Everyone was looking at Cormac now. They began to mutter. "She's right, literally, mate," said Seamus, laughing. "You'd better apologize or else."  
  
Cormac looked sullen. "I'm not apologizing for anything unless you can prove it was me."  
  
Parvati wordlessly cast a Reflection Spell. Cormac looked into it and saw that his mouth and cheeks were covered in something red and shiny. Lavender pulled a tube of "Come Hither Crimson" lipstick out of her bra and held it up. The color matched perfectly.  
  
"No need to carry a purse when you're endowed like me," she explained brightly.   
  
"Better stick to rowing next time, Cormac!" hooted some halfwit in the back. Cormac muttered an apology and stormed out as Lavender, smiling smugly, reapplied her lipstick. 

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2015 Humpathon at HP_HumpDrabbles.  
> Pairing: Lavender Brown/Any Male  
> Prompt: I keep my lipstick in my bra because...


End file.
